


I Thought You Were the One

by crystalfairy (awesomefairyqueen)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Constructive Criticism Welcome, F/F, F/M, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Blood, My First AO3 Post, One Shot, Other, Reader-Insert, gender neutral reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:42:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28905057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awesomefairyqueen/pseuds/crystalfairy
Summary: You are sick of love. Literally. Your last days are sweeping ever closer as the flowers in your lungs continue creeping up your throat. The only way you’ll get better is if he returns your love, but that’s impossible.Because Tsukishima Kei already has someone. And that someone isn’t you.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Reader, Yamaguchi Tadashi & Reader
Comments: 11
Kudos: 109





	I Thought You Were the One

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first one shot, my first Hanahaki Disease AU, and the very first fanfic I’m actually publishing! So I’m really excited and hope you like it!
> 
> For anyone who doesn’t know, Hanahaki Disease is a (fictional) disease caused by one-sided love. Flowers grow in the victim’s lungs until either the person they love returns their feelings or the victim dies.
> 
> I tried to keep the reader gender neutral, but if I messed up somewhere, please correct me!
> 
> I would recommend playing some emotional/soft/instrumental music in the background for the full experience ✨ (There’s also a reference to “Heather” by Conan Gray in the story if you can catch it ;) )
> 
> Alrighty alrighty enough of that. Let’s get into it :D
> 
> Enjoy!

You were used to it now. The coughing, the blood, the annoying petals that kept pushing their way out of your throat.

Apparently they were called camellias.

The flowers were a strawberry pink color that blended into a lovely yellow at the tip of each petal. They would’ve been pretty if the blood that had started accompanying them didn’t ruin the picture. They would’ve been pretty if they didn’t remind you of him every time you choked them out. They would’ve been pretty if they didn’t embody your slowly approaching death.

🥀🥀🥀

You slid open the classroom door and waved to Yamaguchi and Tsukishima, who were waiting by your desk. 

“Last night’s homework was brutal, wasn’t it?” Yamaguchi groaned as a greeting.

“Tell me about it,” you laughed. “I bet I was up the latest in the class doing that thing.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” Tsukishima shrugged. 

You glared at him. “Well everyone’s not as smart as you. Stop rubbing it in, you jerk.”

“Aren’t you the one who usually goes around boasting how smart you are? How you can outsmart me at every turn?”

“You smug little—” 

But you didn’t get to finish your sentence as a voice twinkled behind you, “It’s just the morning, and you already have someone trying to kill you, Tsukishima-kun?”

The teasing sparkle faded out of Tsukishima’s eyes, and his lips parted just slightly in surprise. Pleasant surprise, the one look he reserved just for her.

“Not my fault they aren’t as smart as they think they are,” he shrugged again. But it was different this time.

“Tsukishima!” she laughed.

You turned around and grinned at her, “What do you say, Akira-chan? Kill him together?”

“Awww I’d join, but imagine how _boring_ class would be without our local cold, handsome boy.” She winked at Tsukishima, and a faint blush coated his cheeks. You felt your lungs clench.

It was coming.

You sighed and shook your head. “You’re too nice to him, Akira. This salty boy gets away with too much.”

He rested an arm on your head and drawled, “Could you repeat that? I think the wind stole your voice away on that second half. It has to travel quite the distance, you know.”

Normally you would respond with a jab of your own, but you could feel the flowers crawling up your esophagus. 

“Oh! Just realized I forgot something in my locker,” you said instead. Sliding out from under Tsukishima’s arm, you darted out of the classroom, making a beeline for the bathroom.

It was particularly annoying when they decided to erupt in school. It was so much harder to clean up, especially when you responded too late. You were lucky this time.

🥀🥀🥀

Hanahaki Disease. Unrequited love. Forever cursed to throw up petals until they ultimately caused your death.

When you had coughed up your first petal in eighth grade, you couldn’t wrap your head around it. Who? Why? When?

And then you coughed another and another. Strawberry pink like his favorite dessert. Soft yellow like his hair.

You couldn’t believe it took you that long to realize it: it was Tsukishima Kei. You liked Tsukishima Kei.

But he was one of your best friends, and if you told him, if he rejected you, you would still die, your friendship would be ruined, and he would blame himself for the rest of his life. You couldn’t curse him along with you. 

So you didn’t say anything, and slowly the illness got worse.

When you first threw up blood along with the flowers, your mother took you to the hospital. The doctors were no help, but you were expecting that. It was a rare disease and was still incurable by medicine. The best they could do was tell you how much time you had left. Not enough.

And then ninth grade had ended as well, and tenth grade came storming around the corner. You were in high school, and you still liked him. It was worse than before. You really really liked him. 

And you could do nothing about it.

🥀🥀🥀

“What’d you forget?” Yamaguchi asked when you entered the classroom again. 

Great. You had forgotten to bring some random item from your locker. 

“It, uh, it wasn’t… there,” you stuttered instead.

“You have something in your hair,” Tsukki said as he reached forward. 

You froze. The only thing that moved was your heart, which picked up its pace as his hand drew nearer. 

Tsukishima stroked a strand of your hair as he took out whatever was in it.

Your heart stilled, and a tremor ran through you.

It was a flower petal. A pink and yellow flower petal.

“Did you go to the garden or something?” he asked flatly, raising an eyebrow. 

You couldn’t breathe. _The petal._

His mouth twitched slightly to a frown as he added, “Or someone gave you a flower?” He flicked the petal to the ground.

“Oh, please,” you scoffed, somehow getting your voice to work again. “We all know the only person who gets confessions around here is you.” 

Plus, the one person you wanted a confession from was the one person who wasn’t going to give you one.

Akira chuckled, and Tsukki took a step back and looked to the ground again. You had forgotten she was standing there. 

You and Yamaguchi weren’t particularly close friends with her, but she was nice and funny, and you all got along pretty well. 

Akira was also one of the few girls Tsukishima could tolerate. Actually, _tolerate_ was the wrong word to use. Tsukki could more than tolerate her. He seemed to enjoy her presence, just like everyone in the class did. It was only natural. She was fun, playful, smart, mature, kind, compassionate, fiery, confident. Everything, basically.

The teacher walked into class, and you all took our seats. 

🥀🥀🥀

You, Tsukishima, and Yamaguchi were walking home together, like you had been doing since middle school. 

Surprisingly enough, the flowers didn’t attack you again during school that day, and you thought you’d be free of any other coughing fits until you got home.

“Tsukishima-kun!” Akira called from behind you.

Clearly you had thought that too soon.

Her sweet melodic voice made Tsukki stop in his tracks. He was wearing _that_ expression again.

“You forgot your notebook,” she smiled as she handed him his English notebook. “How did you expect to finish the project without this?”

“Oh. Thanks,” he replied, taking the notebook. He jumped ever so slightly as their fingers brushed, and a warm color took over his cheeks. 

“Are you walking home alone, Akira-san?” Yamaguchi asked, glancing at his best friend smugly. “We could take you if you’d like.”

Tsukki half-scowled, but it couldn’t fool you two. You nudged him with your elbow, giving him a teasing smile. He rolled his eyes at you.

Akira agreed, and the four of you continued the walk. She was eagerly chattering about something, and Tsukishima was nodding, his face glowing in a way you had never seen before.

And then he smiled. 

It’s not like you had _never_ seen him smile, but that smile was different. That smile was for her. That smile was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen. How long had he known Akira? A few months? And she had already gotten to experience it. In fact, it was _because_ of her he was smiling like that.

You felt your chest tighten, and you nearly sighed in relief. Maybe the physical pain would save you from the pain of your thoughts. 

“Oh hey!” you suddenly exclaimed. “I need to get something from the library for that project. You guys carry on. I’ll get home on my own.”

It took the longest time to convince Yamaguchi, but at last the three of them turned and walked away.

They were walking side by side, their voices and laughter swept away by the wind. It was like you were never there to begin with. The trio was still in place: Tsukki, Yamaguchi, and… Akira. At least when you were gone, she could take your place. It wouldn’t be hard at all.

You held it in until you couldn’t see them anymore, and then you doubled down into the bushes and sobbed.

It hurt. It hurt. It hurt so much. Everything hurt. Why you? What if you had never met Tsukishima? Would you still feel this way? 

He didn’t even ask twice when you said you would walk home on your own. He was so caught up with Akira, he hadn’t even given you a second glance. Maybe it was better this way. He wouldn’t feel nearly as bad when you disappeared. She would help him. She would stay by his side.

You cried as you coughed your lungs out onto the ground. You cried as you covered up the petals with some leaves you found nearby. You cried as you trudged home.

You hated this. You hated it all. You just wanted everything to stop hurting.

But every time you looked at him, your heart would speed up. Every time he cracked a small smirk at your jokes, you felt yourself blushing. Every time his sarcastic comments made you laugh, you never wanted to let him go.

You had tried so hard. Back in ninth grade, you tried avoiding him, you tried keeping your distance, you tried pushing him away. All your attempts were futile. You couldn’t get him out of your head no matter how hard you tried. Nothing changed. Your mouth still filled with petals and blood. You still felt like your insides had chewed themselves up, and you were left spitting it out. It still hurt.

🥀🥀🥀

Yamaguchi’s eyes were gleaming with concern the moment he saw you the next day.

“Are you okay?” he asked immediately.

How were you supposed to respond to that question?

“Yeah, I’m fine, Yams,” you answered meekly with a small smile. He didn’t look the slightest bit convinced, but you couldn’t really give him any more than that. 

You hadn’t told anyone about your feelings for Tsukishima, still hoping they would fade one day. No one except for your family and a few doctors knew about your condition, and even then, you hadn’t told any of them Tsukishima was the cause. They didn’t ask either. 

What was the point? If Yamaguchi knew, he would try to set you up with Tsukki, and you had seen him turn down enough people to know that it always ended up in disaster. And then, not one, but two of your best friends would feel guilt riding on their souls forever.

Usually crushes were no big deal, but this time, you had to keep it all to yourself. And it was destroying you from the inside out.

Yamaguchi was saying something excitedly, but you were trying too hard to keep the tears out of your eyes to listen properly.

“Hey! Oh my gosh!” Akira screeched. You felt a jolt as she swung an arm around your shoulder and leaped up. 

“You seem pretty excited,” you laughed tightly, still trying to stop the tears from rising in your eyes.

“Haven’t you been listening to anything I’ve been saying?” Yamaguchi chuckled. “She’s going on a date with Tsukki tomorrow.”

Your heart dropped. The classroom was spinning. Your eyes were stinging. Your brain was fracturing.

You blinked, and everything suddenly was so clear and sharp it was as if you had never opened your eyes before. You hadn’t ever been this… still.

“Oooooh!” you exclaimed. You couldn’t feel anything at all. “Congratulations! I can’t believe he agreed to finally go out with someone. He’s been rejecting people left and right since middle school.” You paused and tilted your head. “Looks like he was waiting for you.”

Akira glanced at something behind you and gave you another quick grin before dashing off to her seat.

You peeked over your shoulder. There he was, a hand on his neck, eyes on yours.

You lightly punched his arm. “And just when were you going to tell me that you were going on a date? This should be front-page news: Tsukishima Kei Accepts a Date for the First Time in Years!” You made a grand gesture with your hands and chuckled as his face reddened.

“Shut up,” he grumbled. But then he looked at you again, and the small smile fell off his face. “What happened to you?”

You fiddled with your fingers. “What do you mean?” you laughed. 

He sighed and looked away. “Are you okay?”

It caught you off guard. The sharp stillness you had been feeling vanished. You had to struggle to keep your lip from quivering. 

_Are you okay?_ That question again, but you hadn’t been expecting Tsukki to ask it. Not in a million years. He wasn’t exactly the _comforting_ type of person. 

Then again, if he was asking something like that, you probably looked horrible. Your eyes _had_ been quite swollen when you left the house.

You forced your lips into a smile and closed your eyes so he wouldn’t see the water that was building up behind your eyelids as you said, “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You’re a horrible liar.”

You kept your eyes trained on the ground.

“I’m just tired, Tsukki. I’m so tired.” You didn’t let him see the icy tear streaking down your cheek as you spun around to your desk.

🥀🥀🥀

Yamaguchi had insisted on staying at your house for a while, probably hoping to make you feel better (since that tear had apparently not escaped _his_ view).

Akira and Tsukki were heading out on their date immediately after dropping you both off, but as you were about to close your door, she ran up to you while Tsukki waited by the sidewalk.

“Aaaah wish me luck you guys!” she squealed. 

“You’ll be fine, Akira,” Yamaguchi smiled. “I think he really likes you.”

She seemed even prettier when her cheeks turned a rosy red.

You added, “And remember to order strawberry shortcake for dessert. It’s his favorite.”

She nodded giddily before waving at you and skipping back to Tsukki. She hooked her arm in his. 

You caught Tsukishima giving you one last look; then he turned his head down to Akira. He smiled softly, and the two of them went on their way.

You were being strangled. You were burning. You couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t think.

Why not you?

You barely managed to slam the door shut before throwing up on the ground.

Bloody flower petals flew everywhere.

You didn’t care anymore. Hot, scalding tears poured down your cheeks. 

You could hear Yamaguchi screaming your name.

 _You_ wanted to be the one he smiled at. _You_ wanted to be the one holding his hand. _You_ wanted to be the one to go on dates with him.

You couldn’t stop coughing. You could taste the petals in your mouth as you spit them out. They were sickeningly sweet. What a joke. 

Your breathing had quickened, but you couldn’t get enough oxygen before you started hacking again.

 _It’s not usually this bad_ , you thought before you fell over on your side, your face landing in a pile of disgusting flowers.

You struggled to take another breath, seeing Yamaguchi’s panicked face before everything went dark.

🥀🥀🥀

Your throat was raw, your eyes were sticky, and you felt like trash.

“How’re you feeling?” you heard a voice from your right. It was Yamaguchi. Oh, yeah.

“Better,” you replied, sitting up in your bed.

His voice was sharp as he asked, “Since when?”

“...Since eighth grade,” you replied, keeping your eyes on the wall in front of you.

You heard him suck in a breath. “Who…?”

“Who do you _think_ , Yamaguchi?” you snapped. You didn’t realize it would come out so bitterly, but you couldn’t help the hot waves of painful anger from splashing over you.

Your eyes welled up again. 

Feeling his arms wrapping around you, you turned into his chest and let yourself cry. Your tears felt endless.

“I love him, Yamaguchi,” you choked as you grasped at the folds in Yamaguchi’s sweater.

“How long do you have?” Yamaguchi asked softly, stroking the top of your head.

“The doctors said until the end of high school.” Two more years.

“But…?” Yamaguchi prompted, sensing the incompleteness of your statement.

“If he gets into a serious relationship—” You faltered as a sob overtook your next words. Yamaguchi waited patiently. “If he falls in love with someone, I’ll only have a few months.”

Yamaguchi gasped before grabbing your arms and pulling you away to look you in the face. 

“How could you—” He paused as he tried to wrap his head around what you were saying. “Akira,” he breathed. A tear of his own slipped down his face. 

“Why didn’t you say something?” he cried. “W-we could’ve done something! And Akira—”

You smiled at him softly even as tears spilled out of your eyes. “How could I hate her? She’s such an angel.” But then again, a part of you wished you all had never met her. “She deserves to be happy.”

Yamaguchi was shaking with sobs now. “You need to tell Tsukki—”

You gripped his shoulders in desperation. “No. Whatever you do, Yams, promise me you won’t tell Tsukki about this. Promise me!”

“WHY?”

“Haven’t you seen the way he looks at her? Haven’t you seen his smiles, his blushes, his little finger twiddles? I can’t just _steal_ that from him for my own selfishness. Plus, he doesn’t like me. He likes _her_. 

“Telling him would only cause him suffering. You _know_ he would just blame himself. It would ruin him, our friendship, his relationship with Akira. _Everything_.

“I just want to live the rest of my life as happily as I can. I want to live, Yams. I want to live with my best friends.

“And I want you two to be happy too.”

Yamaguchi blotted his tears on the shoulders of his sweater. “That’s—How do you know he doesn’t like you? M-maybe—”

“Yamaguchi,” you took a deep breath, “he’s on a date with another person at this very moment.”

He bit his lip. “So you’re just going to… d-d—?” He lowered his eyes, unable to finish the sentence.

You tried to laugh to lighten the mood, but you choked and coughed out petals instead. Way to go, flowers. You glared at the mirage of pink, yellow, and red scattered over your blanket.

It was hitting you harder than a car slamming into a cement wall. You were going to die soon. You were really going to die. One day you would cough out the last wisp of your life along with the last of these horrid flowers.

“I don’t want to die, Yams.”

He hugged you again, harder. You didn’t want to let go.

You didn’t want to let go of life.

🥀🥀🥀

You didn’t go to school the next day. 

The second the bell for school dismissal would’ve rung, you got a call from Yamaguchi.

Yamaguchi: “Are you okay? Do you need anything? What about some ice cream? I know you never turn down ice cream.”

You: “Yams… I’m not anymore sick than I was before you knew I had Hanahaki.”

Yamaguchi: “So you’re telling me you normally cough that many petals? I’m not buying it.”

He was right. Yesterday had been the worst it ever was, but it was better today.

You: “I’m fine now—”

Yamaguchi: “You _said_ you were fine yesterday too! But you’re—” 

His voice cracked, and it seemed more whispery when he continued.

Yamaguchi: “I just… want to be there for you. I won’t let you go through this alone.”

You: “This isn’t a conversation we should have over the phone, Yams.”

Yamaguchi: “You’re right. I’m coming over as soon as volleyball practice is over, and I’m bringing ice cream.”

You laughed in defeat. He wasn’t going to let this go.

You had just ended the call with Yamaguchi when you got a text from Tsukki.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 **Tsukishima:** Why didn’t you come to school?

 **You:** I thought Yamaguchi would’ve told you?

 **You:** I’m sick

 **Tsukishima:** How?

 **You:** Well that’s a weird question

 **You:** What do you mean how?

 **Tsukishima:** Forget it 

**Tsukishima:** I’m coming after practice

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He was _what_?

You scrambled out of bed to make sure there were no stray petals or goops of blood anywhere.

Why was he coming? Though you supposed it wasn’t too unusual for him to check up on you since you told him you were sick. 

You sighed and tidied your room, and then you waited on your bed, thinking of every possible scenario of what could happen.

🥀🥀🥀

The doorbell shocked you out of your thoughts, and you dashed to get the door.

Yamaguchi stared at you, wide eyed, as he pointed at Tsukki vigorously behind his back. You looked back at him in similar panic and warned him with your eyes not to say anything.

“Why are you two acting so weird?” Tsukishima cut in.

You rubbed your neck. “Just come inside.”

“I, uh, I brought i-ice cream,” Yamaguchi stuttered, still staring at Tsukki’s back in disbelief.

“Why would you bring ice cream?” Tsukishima asked. “Isn’t she sick?”

“I don’t have a cold if that’s what you’re asking,” you replied, grabbing the ice cream container from the bag in Yamaguchi’s hands and scooping it into bowls for all of you.

Tsukki narrowed his eyes but didn’t say anything.

It was quiet as you ate. 

“So…” you began, “how was your date?”

It was probably the worst conversation starter you could have chosen, but you had to know.

Tsukki was silent before slowly mumbling, “It was alright.” So it went well. “She asked me to be her boyfriend.”

You could feel Yamaguchi’s stare, but you refused to look at him. Trying to sound as casual as possible, you asked, “What’d you say?”

His spoon made a soft _clink_ as he set it down. 

“I didn’t give her an answer.”

You didn’t give yourself time to think. “Why?”

He turned to you slowly, scanning your face behind those rectangular glasses. “I… don’t know.” He faced his ice cream again and took a spoon. 

You didn’t let yourself breathe. You didn’t let yourself get hopeful. But your heart fluttered despite it. Maybe…

None of you spoke.

“You both are strangely quiet today,” Tsukishima muttered as he lifted up his spoon again.

You looked toward Yamaguchi, who was looking at you with pleading eyes. You shook your head ever so slightly at him.

Tsukki seemed to notice your conversation. “Will you two just spit it ou—”

The doorbell interrupted his question. You slowly rose from your chair and walked to the door; you leaned toward the peephole. You weren't expecting anyone, so who—

Oh.

Your heart seemed to plummet to the floor. Your stomach churned anxiously as you raised your trembling hands to unlock the door. 

“I heard you were sick!” Akira exclaimed. “Are you feeling alright?”

You should have known better than to think that maybe you still had a spot in Tsukishima’s heart.

You nodded your head and invited her in. “Tsukki and Yams are in the kitchen. We were just having some ice cream.”

“Ice cream while you’re sick?” she laughed. 

You tried to laugh with her. “Oh, it’s just a… headache.” More like a bodyache.

She patted your shoulder, and the two of you walked to the table where Yamaguchi and Tsukishima were finishing up their ice cream. 

Yamaguchi looked at you in shock while Tsukki averted his gaze and focused on his ice cream.

Akira sat down in front of Tsukishima as you scooped her some ice cream.

“Hey,” she said softly.

“Hi,” he replied.

You could feel the change in atmosphere. A gloominess set in. The tension was palpable as you set down Akira’s bowl in front of her.

“Why don’t you guys catch up while I grab my phone?” you suggested, really just needing an excuse to get away from them.

“Yeah, I-I’ll go help… find it,” Yamaguchi added, jogging up to you as you headed up the stairs.

“That was a horrible excuse,” you hissed at him. 

His cheeks reddened. “Yours wasn’t much better.”

The moment you had turned the corner at the top of the staircase Akira’s voice floated through the house. 

“You look like you’re deep in thought, Tsukishima.”

“Yeah,” he mumbled. 

You knew you should have continued to your room. You knew you shouldn’t have eavesdropped, but your feet weren’t moving. Yamaguchi waited by your side as you listened.

Akira sighed. “You know, you don’t need to give me an answer right away.”

“Sorry.” Tsukki _rarely_ apologized to people.

“Why are you apologizing?” She laughed that beautiful, twinkling laugh. “Tsukishima, take all the time you need. I like you. I’ll wait.”

Tsukki said something you couldn’t hear. You didn’t want to hear it anyways.

 _I like you_. Each word smashed against you like a dagger. How many times had you wanted to say that?

You shouldn’t have listened to their conversation. It hurt.

You didn’t even realize the flowers were already in your mouth before you started choking. Tears squeezed out of your eyes as you gasped for breath. The pink, yellow, and red mess before you blurred as you kept throwing up more petals and blood. It wouldn’t stop. 

Yamaguchi was rubbing your back, anxiously watching the staircase. Akira and Tsukki had probably heard your coughing.

“S-stall them,” you managed to wheeze. You tried gathering flower petals in your hands, but you doubled over in a coughing fit again before you could get very far.

🥀🥀🥀

You woke up in a white room with bright lights. You saw your parents standing to your left. Your mom’s eyes were watery; she grabbed your hand and kissed it in relief.

“Doctor, she’s awake,” she said.

A tall woman entered your vision. 

Placing a hand on your forehead, she stated, “Looks like the fever is mostly gone.” Fever?

“What’s going on?” you croaked.

“You fainted, honey,” the doctor replied kindly, but her smile was quickly replaced by a serious expression. “I’m not sure what’s going on, but it seems like your Hanahaki Disease has worsened.

“Did your partner fall in love with someone else?”

The way she said it made it seem like you two had some sort of special bond. 

“I guess,” you mumbled. How funny that even before Tsukki himself knew, these flowers in your lungs could tell he was falling for someone else. He could try to deny it, but the truth remained. He was going to agree to be Akira’s boyfriend.

And you were going to die.

The doctor sighed and grasped your other hand. “I’m sorry, sweetie. I know it’s hard, but I’m afraid there’s worse news.” 

There always was.

“The previous estimation was wrong. You only have three weeks left.”

It should have hit you harder. You should have been more upset. But at that moment, the only thing you could think of was your ice cream at home, probably already a melted puddle in your orange bowl.

You let out a bitter laugh. A few months or three weeks. What difference did it make? You were going to die either way.

🥀🥀🥀

Your mom had burst into tears, and your dad was rubbing his eyes while trying to comfort her. You just lay there, unmoving, unfeeling.

There was a knock on the door, and a nurse entered. 

“Your friends are here to see you,” she smiled. Your parents and the doctor sidled out the room as Yamaguchi and Tsukishima entered.

You wanted to hide under your blankets, but you were frozen. 

Had he been crying? His eyes were slightly red. On the other hand, Yamaguchi was straight up bawling.

You waved him over and whispered in his ear, “Akira didn’t see, right?”

Yamaguchi sighed, “ _That’s_ what you’re worried about? I got her to leave, but…” He looked over his shoulder where Tsukki was standing, his arms crossed over his chest. “He found you passed out in the midst of the flowers and called your parents.”

You leaned into your pillow and suppressed a sigh. You had tried so hard to hide it from him, and in the end, he found out anyway, and you weren’t even conscious to explain. 

Yamaguchi threw his arms around you and sobbed into your shoulder. “It’s worse, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” you mumbled back, “I have three weeks.”

It was as if Yamaguchi and Tsukki had sucked up all the air in the room. 

Tsukishima cleared his throat. “Yamaguchi…”

Yamaguchi pulled away and nodded at his friend, throwing you a small smile while wiping his tears, but more just replaced them.

And then he dashed out of the room, leaving you alone. With him. Tsukishima Kei. Your “partner,” as the doctor had called him.

🥀🥀🥀

He stood next to the bed, staring at you. 

You opened your mouth to speak, but he didn’t let you get a word out.

“So you were just going to keep it hidden until you just, what, died one day?” he snapped. 

You choked out a heavy laugh, “How am I just supposed to say something like that? ‘Oh yeah, Tsukki, by the way, I’m gonna die soon thanks to some flowers in my lungs. Don’t miss me!’ Would that have been any better?”

Tsukishima scowled. “How long have you had it?”

You didn’t reply, instead choosing to examine the chairs behind him.

“How _long_?” he repeated, a growl creeping into his voice.

You let out a breath. “Junior high.”

“DAMMIT!” he yelled. “How can you just keep something like that to yourself? Aren’t you the one always declaring yourself our ‘best friend’? How could you not tell us?” He ran a hand through his hair and glared at the wall on the other side of the room. His voice broke as he added softly, “How could you not tell me you’re _dying_?”

You could hear the waver in his voice. He was hurt. Because of you. How ironic.

“It’s inevitable, Tsukki. Telling you wouldn’t change anything.”

He slammed a hand on the bed and brought his face in front of yours. Your breath got caught in your throat.

“Stop acting like you don’t care.” He was trembling as he clenched his fist and hung his head, repeating quietly, “You’re _dying_.”

You noticed a single glistening droplet run down his cheek, and your hand instinctively shot up to wipe it away. He was crying. You hadn’t ever seen him cry before. The water was cool to the touch, his cheek warm.

You tilted up his face, so you could look him in the eye and tell him, “It’ll be alright. We’re going to make these last three weeks the best three weeks of my life. So don’t cry.”

You lowered your hand to lay on top of his. 

He averted his eyes and removed his glasses, hastily wiping his eyes as if he were embarrassed to be crying. But even as he tried, another tear slipped down his cheek. 

“Who is it?” he sputtered. 

You were waiting for him to ask, but the question still threw your mind into a frenzy. You didn’t know how to respond.

He looked back at you, some indiscernible emotion shimmering in his eyes, his eyelashes clumping together because of his tears. You’d never seen him look so vulnerable. You couldn’t get your voice to work.

He clenched his jaw. “Which bastard is it? What _idiot_ would reject you? Tell me _who_. I’ll make them save you.”

You laughed ruefully. “Love doesn’t work that way, Tsukki. You know that.”

He fell to his knees suddenly and sunk his face into the side of the hospital bed. “Tell me who,” he repeated quietly. 

“It won’t change anything. He likes someone else.” 

You coughed out a flower. He shot his head up and glared at the pinkish yellow petal that was now decorating the blanket.

“Then he’s a fool,” he growled. “He’s a—”

“Shhh, Tsukki,” you said, a small smile on your face. “He—”

Tsukki stood up again. “No, I won’t ‘shhh.’ How do you know he doesn't like you? I’ll bring him here right now. I’ll—”

“Tsukki…” you tried again, but he wasn’t listening.

He spun around, sliding his hand out from under yours. 

“I like Akira,” he said suddenly. 

You inhaled deeply. Well, you already knew that. But hearing him say it out loud… Your heart throbbed, and you could feel the flowers rising.

“We went on that date. And everything was perfect. And she asked me to be her boyfriend. And I was about to say yes. I was about to say yes.” He faltered as if he didn’t understand what he was saying, but he pushed through, determined to finish whatever he was trying to get across.

“But I opened my mouth, and nothing came out. I didn’t understand. Because for some reason, for _some reason_ , the only person I could see in front of me at that moment was… you.”

What...what was he saying? For the first time since you had arrived in the hospital, your eyes filled with tears. 

“And I was waiting for you to give me a reason. A reason to say no. I realized I—You…” You heard him take a deep breath and wipe his face again. “I love you.”

You took in a sharp breath. 

His voice matched his trembling form as he said, “But it’s too late now. A-and you’re going to _die_. If I had known earlier—” His voice broke again. “I would’ve said something earlier. These last few years would’ve been different. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He collapsed onto the floor, freely shaking with sobs now.

All his wit and sarcastic remarks, gone. His teasing tone, gone. Every wall he had put up, gone. 

Here he was, Tsukishima Kei. Your best friend. The boy you loved. And apparently, he loved you too.

“Tsukki—” you started, but he cut you off yet again.

“So just tell me.” He looked over his shoulder, so much pain in those eyes. You started crying harder. “Tell me who it is, so he can save you.”

“You _idiot_ ,” you laughed between your tears. He looked at you in surprise, his own tears still sliding down his face. 

“It’s _you_ , Tsukki. I love _you_. It’s always been you.”

He blinked, rubbed his eyes, and then blinked again.

You exhaled loudly, a soft smile glowing on your face, and leaned back into the pillow. “So the only one who’s gonna save me is you, Tsukishima Kei.”

💐💐💐

Yamaguchi chose that exact moment to reenter your room.

“Your mom is—”

He glanced at Tsukishima still kneeling on the floor near the chairs and you crying happily in the bed.

“There’s so much going on in this room, I don’t even know where to start,” Yamaguchi said in confusion.

“Well, for starters,” you blurted out, “I’m not going to die. I think.”

Yamaguchi tilted his head. “I’m happy… but that clears up nothing.”

“It _means_ ,” Tsukki muttered as he got up from the floor and wiped his face, “that this stupid idiot was planning on dying even though the cure was right here.”

“Well I didn’t _know_ that,” you mumbled, trying to hide your blush under the blanket.

Apparently Tsukishima deemed his face tear free, and he marched back to you. He looked at you, shook his head as if he were annoyed, and then flung his arms around you.

“Don’t ever scare me like that again,” he whispered into your ear.

This warmth. You had been waiting for it for so long.

You murmured back, “So do you have your reason to say no now?” A part of you felt bad for Akira. You were being selfish, but he was so close now, and you couldn’t fathom letting him go again.

He leaned his forehead on your shoulder. “Yeah, I do.”

Yamaguchi cleared his throat at the entrance of the room. “So, I’m just gonna assume you both confessed, and one of my best friends is _not_ going to die after all? Did I get that all right?”

You laughed. “That’s right, Yams.” You held out your other arm, and he grinned, joining the hug. Tsukishima groaned but didn’t protest.

The three of you were together. And you were going to live.

💐💐💐

Your family quickly figured out who your Hanahaki “partner” was and tried to give him a speech, but they lost steam halfway through since they’d always had a soft spot for him. It’s not like he had made you throw up flowers on purpose anyways. Plus, the problem was gone now, so they didn’t have much to go on.

The person who got the longer speech, though, was you.

“I know you’re in love, but… blah blah blah… Studies before boys, okay?” Random stuff about dating and love and staying safe.

All in all, it was extremely awkward.

But you were too happy to care. 

The flowers simply disappeared. You felt it the moment Tsukki said he loved you, like a weight had been lifted off your chest.

You could breathe clearly for the first time in three years. There was no constant tickling at the bottom of your throat, no fear of vomiting flowers in the middle of the night, no choking when you were trying to talk.

You were calm.

💐💐💐

You weren’t sure how or when Tsukki had turned down Akira, but she stopped meeting you all soon after that day.

You talked with her briefly to make sure she was okay, and she insisted she was, telling you to be happy and not to worry. 

“I’m sorry, Akira. I know you—”

She smiled and cut you off by placing a hand on your shoulder. “Don’t apologize. You can’t change your heart.”

You had tried to, and it had failed every time. 

“Be happy with him. You’ve been waiting for him for way too long already.” She let out a mix between a sigh and a laugh. “He’s different with you. No matter how hard I tried, I could never get him to smile the way he does at your remarks. He doesn’t tease me nearly as much either.” She rubbed her neck nervously. “You would think that that’s a good thing, but… I don’t know. He just seems more free with you. To be honest, I was surprised he didn’t ask you out before I came along.”

You weren’t sure how to respond, so you just stared at her as she disappeared into the classroom.

None of you really talked to her again after, and just like that, the girl, who you thought had made such a deep impression in your lives, was gone as if she had never been there. You didn’t know what to feel about it.

💐💐💐

“You can open your eyes now.”

You had to blink a few times before your eyes adjusted to the scene.

You were on a grassy hill under the blanket of the night sky. The city glittered below you, each car looking like a little glowing bug. The stars twinkled at you gently, the moon shining brightly.

“It’s beautiful,” you breathed before turning back to Tsukishima. “How’d you find this place?”

“My brother used to come here with his friends for stargazing,” he said with a shrug.

“And you’re here to carry on the tradition?” you grinned at him.

He rolled his eyes. “It’s just a nice place.”

You touched his cheek. “Yeah it is.”

He leaned down and whispered, “I thought you’d think so.”

Your lips met.

Just a few days ago you thought you were going to lose it all. Your friends, your family, your life. And now… 

You smiled as you broke away. You never wanted this happiness to end.

“I love you, Kei.”

You could see him blush in the moonlight. “Yeah, yeah. So you’ve said. Multiple times.”

He tilted your chin up and whispered, “I love you too.”

You leaned forward to kiss him again, but he stepped back, chuckling slightly at your flustered face as your lips brushed only air.

He reached into his pocket and brought out a simple bracelet. Its silver crescent moon pendant swayed in the breeze. You shivered as his fingers brushed over your hand as he slipped the bracelet onto your wrist.

“How is it?” he breathed in a soft voice that made a blush crawl over your face.

You laughed quietly, “Really? A moon, Tsukki? You’re so cheesy.”

“Well, no one would believe you if you told them.”

That was true. You laughed again and turned around to face the city view as he wrapped his arms over your shoulders. “I love it, Kei.”

He hummed softly and rested his chin on your head.

You noticed a little flower blooming near your foot. A camellia. It had petals of the prettiest strawberry pink that morphed into a bright yellow at the tips.

It was definitely more beautiful when you weren’t coughing it out. 

You smiled and leaned into the warmth of your best friend. Your boyfriend. Your dear Tsukishima Kei.

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyyy you made it! 
> 
> That was really exciting to write. I can’t believe I actually published a story AAAAAAAHHHH!! When I first wrote this, I was only planning on sharing it with a few friends, but then I decided you know what, I’m gonna do it. I’m going to publish my first story ever, and here we are :D 
> 
> This is also my first reader insert story, so I’m sorry if it sucked haha
> 
> I tried to keep Yamaguchi and Tsukishima in character, but I’m not sure how well I did that lol so you tell me.
> 
> I really want to improve my writing and test this style and genre (since I don’t usually write like this haha) to see what others think. So let me know how it was! I’d love to read your comments and thoughts. Constructive criticism is welcome as well :)


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